Kissing

So, with my avid love of Hobbits and Jedis, it may surprise some of you that my first kiss was last year. It was fine! Considering I was dying for someone to break my VL lifestyle any kiss was welcome. And I don't care to say how many people I've kissed since then (I'll give you $5 if you can guess) ...
But I've realized something. Something valuable. I've had some fantastic kisses. And some not so good ones... But only a few I keep in the "Memorable" Category. Those were surprises or passionate... But my favorite ones were soft.

So what makes a truly Romantic kiss? That's what I'm in the search of.  I know a lot of you love sick puppies will say the appropriate thing, "When it is with your best friend ever! Love you babe! Muah!" But that isn't what I'm looking for. I mean location, circumstance, emotion.
Because with a lot of those kissers I've had... The first kiss was never that special.  It took place in a car, on a couch, on the floor... I would like to propose that I would like to have a romantic first kiss.
Something like this:

Mmmm, that's right!

The Real Version of Horse Back Riding on the Beach

So, you may be asking yourself, "So, miss bossy boss, what is a good date??" Let me provide a list of dates that (from extensive research) I know a lot of girls would really enjoy. The motto for a good date is this:

D- Dynamically Different

A- A Lil' Romantic

T- Time Managed

E- Enthrolling (or simply put, Entertaining)

(Or you can go with the Michael Scott Acronym K.I.S.S.--Keep It Simple Stupid)

1) A Walk in the Park with a Pic-a-nick Basket. It is sorely underestimated what a walk to your nearest park could be. Walking to a park or walking in a park and ending with a picnic really shows her that you, yourself, put more personality and prep time into this activity. If you were worried about that being boring bring a deck of cards or a ball to play catch. But, TRUST ME when I say that any girl would like this.

2) A Hike. Ok this is another walking one BUT!!! We live in a gorgeous area with lots of hikes available in every which way. Pack a couple of granola bars and some water bottles and your set! Plus, in case a Mountain Lion attacks you- you can show her your manly skills (ok boy scout training) by taking it down with a stick, a piece of gum, and a large leaf. **Also, hiking at night and waiting to see the sunset is amazing too. But you will want to check with her about scheduling and time and all that jazz...

3) Feeding the Ducks.  There are a couple different places in Orem/Provo where there are a lot of ducks. A ducks gotta eat... Go feed em! She'll think you are being like Noah from The Notebook! Totally covers the "A" part of the DATE acronym...

4) Stargazing. Going out to a field with blankets and stargazing is totally a fun thing to do. Ok... it is leaning a lot on the romantic side. So if you don't want it to be too romantic, make it a group date. But, make sure to bring some hot cocoa and cookies and have your best scary story prepared!

5) City-ing it! So... Park City, Salt Lake City, Heber, and even Provo all have fun little downtowns with eclectic stores, ma and pa stores, and other sights that are fabulous to walk around. Driving to that city for the day and looking at all the fun stores and ending with a shake from Sammy's (Provo) Granny's Drive In (Heber) Ice cream from Rocky Mountain Chocolate Facotry (Park City) or Squirrel Brothers Ice Cream (Salt Lake City)... Girls love it! Totally a way to be actually talking to your date and having a fun time.

6) Simple Sport. Key Word= Simple. Girls are a little fickle to playing sports on dates. If you give her disclaimors like, "Hey! We're gonna go rock climbing" or "Hey, how do you feel about deep sea diving?" She can prepare for that event. But when you spring basketball or football on her, it can throw her off because dressing for such an event has to be prepared for. If you want to do something like throw a frisbee, play catch, play croquet, totally that simple of a date and she isn't going to have to worry about her clothes pulling up and all that jazz--she can have more fun. Oh, don't *let her win* but don't *pulverize* her either.

7) "Julia Childs" It. Cooking for a girly is the way to her heart. When you can make her a meal and set it up for her all nice, it really shows herjust how macho you are. You want to make sure to do a little bit of the cooking before and then after you go pick her up bring her over to do the finishing touches. This way she SEES you cooking. And it doesn't take too long until it's ready. Every girl loves feeling like someone just made something especially for her and a meal is a perfect way to say that.

8) Museums and Concerts and Theatre, oh my! We live in the heart of a lot of Artsy-ish things. We might as well use them to our advantage. There are a handful of art galleries and museums in Provo and Salt Lake that are free to walk through. You can pull a Ferris Buhler and look all sophisticated, checking those out. Then, there are concerts happening all the time. The internet is your best friend for checking those things out. Provo's Muse Cafe always has something going on, same with the Covey Center. And, if you can brave the Theatre we have, BYU & UVU productions, The Hale Theatres, etc. and if you are brave enough to do that, any girl would enjoy an "Art Date". (Show her your soft side :) )

9) Home-Made Movie Theatre. So we understand that going out to eat and a movie can be really pricey. I totally get that. But to make the experience a little more rememorable instead of "watching a movie at your place" make it kinda a movie experience. Like have treats and drinks available and provide some options. You don't have to go with a chick flick, but comedies are great for dates. If she can handle scary, do it. But I am telling you right now: girls don't like super crude or super gorey for first dates. Maybe after you get to know her you find out she is a "Horror-chick" type of girl, go with it! But first time.... yeah, do the comedy.

10) Ice Cream. Boys, don't underestimate the power of an ice cream parlor and a good conversation. 9/10 girls I asked about their dates, mentioned ICE CREAM. I agree! I've been on a handful of dates where all we did  was go get ice cream and chat. It's simple, short, and enjoyable. So especially if you need a chill date (baha, "chill" get it?) this is a great one for you.

There you have it fellas! I hope this is a good list of dates that seem completely doable and appealing to you and your girly. 

Let me back up just a bit...

Alright, alright... I got a lot of mixed opinions/emotions about my little dating post. I'm not going to take it back. But I will put a few clarifying thoughts for those of you who are "miffed" by what I said.

1.) This is for College aged people. Those sort of dates are fine for High Schoolers

2.) These are also specifically geared towards first date experiences. Some of these are really fun dates (fishing, bowling....) If you know this person really well already, then these are totally acceptable.

3.) I also understand that if you like the person enough then no matter what you do, it will be fun.

4.) Also, this is also geared towards my own taste and opinion BECAUSE many of you asked why I did not put "going to the movies" down. I happen to really enjoy seeing movies because a) I like movies b) I'm too poor to go see them with my own money c) I love watching movie previews....

To conlcude.... I would just like to say that all girls are looking for is a little innovation. All of the dates I listed, are just kinda dull. Every girl has been on at least a dozen bowling/mini golf dates and as a first date it isn't going to be as memorable as it could be by doing something else. I went on a date a couple of months ago where the guy was kinda.... dull. But, what we did, made up for it. We went to dinner (boys, every girl loves food) and then we went to a Story-telling night at Muse Cafe in downtown Provo. It was really fun. I honestly cant remember what he looks like or what we talked about (and frankly I felt like I had a nose bleed talking to him) but I remember what we did. And I remember enjoying myself.

So my plea is to just think outside the box. 

You can take it or leave it. But I can guarantee that I'm NOT the only girl who thinks this way in Utah County.

Of all the Kates in all the Land....

So I was watching a movie the other day and came to this conclusion: Us, as a society, have deemed the name "Kate" as one that belongs to a lonely, bitter, soul of a woman. It's true! For some reason all the Kates are individuals who do not know how to have a romantic lifestyle and have to go through a dramatic even fantastical journey to find her true love.
I have compiled a list from popular movie culture as to add light to this situation.

1.) Obviously, we have Shakespeare to thank for this one. Katharina (Kate) from Taming of the Shrew.

2.) Kate from the 1995 film "French Kiss". Her fiance abandons her because she isn't nearly as adventurous and sexy as the French woman he just met. Kate has gusto though and in the process of trying to get her fiance back she finds a much more handsome French man.

3.) This is the lovely Meg Ryan, again. Playing Kate, again. This time a man from the 1800's sweeps her off her feet in her modern New York City flat. You guessed it, "Kate and Leopold".

4.) Now comes Sandra Bullock playing Kate who is two years ahead of her long-lost-love in "The Lake House"....

5.) Next is "Kat" or Kathleen (it's all deritives of Katherine) in Casper the friendly Ghost. She falls in love with a dead kid? great...

6.) I know, you are tired of Meg Ryan but she plays Kathleen Kelly in "You've got Mail"... Lonely Book Shop owner, her true love finds her on the internet.

7.) Ok, This one is a little Random. But Amy Adams plays "Katy" in a few episodes of The Office as the girlfriend of Jim. And no one likes her because all you want is Pam and Jim to be together.

....there was no picture of her on the office that I could find so here is one of pam and jim...

Well, that's enough for now! Do you people catch my drift? Us poor Kates.... Society continues to view us this way. But! hopefully those random, rare circumstances viewed above can happen to lots of us "Kates" in the universe.

Mini Golf and Bowling, eh?

Ok, boys...

I've been on quite a few dates and I've learned something: some of your ideas.... they suck.

That may sound Harsh, but I have had it with the LAMEO dates! Get friggin creative! And I'm not saying the type of goofy creative ideas that they pass out in institute and at church (for example. one suggestion on this huge paper I got was "backwards trick or treating". You dress up in costumes and walk around the neighborhood giving out candy... what the heck?)

Anyway, I really have had it. And I'm sure a lot of other girls have too. So here is a list of things you shouldn't do for dates, k? (disclaimor, maybe some of these would be fun. but I'm talking SPECIFICALLY about first dates. ya with me? alright let's go!)

1) Miniature Golf. Please ask yourself, "When I tell her we are going mini golfing, will she start to smile from ear to ear with giddy excitement?" The answer, fellas, is HELL NO! It's like you just told her that you were too lazy to really do anything that would peak to her interests at all.

2.) Bowling. If you are intending on looking at your date's backside during 50% of your date, by all means, maybe this is the date for you-- but otherwise, save the girl from stinky shoes and questionable bowling ball holes. see Jim Gaffigan Bowling Sketch on Youtube for more reasons why NOT to.

3.) "Marathon Dates". Ok, maybe this works for BYU students on Mountain Dew. But let me bring you down to earth and tell you that planning 8 dates for 1 person in 1 day can be the most tiresome, annoying thing you ever bring upon yourself and your date.  A date that lasts longer than 3-4 hours should be reserved for some special person who is used to your sadistic schemes.

4.) Fishing. It's something you do with your grandpa while eating BBQ potatoe chips and tuna sandwiches. nuff said.

5.) Free meals if you listen to Fire Safety Lectures for 2 hours. No joke people, it happened.

6.) Going to your neighbor's kid's play that they put on in their living room. I get how this would be fun and cute... but seriously? How awkward for a first date. You're in this strange person's living room for an hour and a half watching children you don't know play. That either qulaifies as babysitting or being a pedifile. You tell me...

7.) Guitar Playing. I know Boys, that some of you are good (or think you are good) at playing the guitar. But asking a girl to sit in your front room while you play the guitar and sing for her is torturous. Do you really think that you are wooing her or sweeping her off her feet with your mad skills? The only people I'm allowing to do this is Eddie Vedder and Adam Sandler. The rest of you... stop it. stop it right now.

8.) "Whatever you want, babe". There is nothing more anti climatic than climbing into your date's car and then him telling you, "You know, I didn't really plan on anything. So I thought we could maybe get food and then... I don't know. Just do whatever." Fellas, fellas, fellas.... Plan a basic outline! don't tell her ya got nothin! Even if you do got nothin, act like you have somethin!

9.) Youtube Screenings. Going to your place and sitting around your laptop while showing your date your favorite youtube videos. Please, I do this a) by myself at work b) with roommates at one in the morning c) with my nieces and nephews when we're bored.

10.) Doubling with a Really Touchy Couple or Even worse, an Engaged couple. I cant really focus on our riveting conversation of school majors and parking permits while the couple across from us is making out.

This list, I hope, helps both boys and girls from making terrible yet understandable mistakes in the future.

A little too familiar...

In the film "He's Just Not That Into You" there is this character named Gigi.

She is this girl who constantly is getting hurt because she is so anxious to find love. I've been told, repeatedly, that I am totally Gigi. Not only for the above mentioned fact, but the quarkiness, absurdities and obsessions... it's a real complimentary remark. I'll tell you that much... But, there is something in that movie that rings true to me completely and I would like to quote it with vigor!

"I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there so much but at least that means that I still care. Oh! You've think you won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way but you don't fall in love that way either. You have not won. You're alone. I may do a lot of stupid shit but I'm still a lot closer to love than you are."

I've felt like that a lot in my life. And I understand that I wear my heart on my sleeve. Unfortunately I have gotten hurt... A LOT. but, I find it all worth it. Because, one day, I know something like this will happen.